How To Deal With The Times When You’re Steeping In Uncomfortable Emotions


You know those times when you push away your emotion-management tools and instead sit cross-armed on the couch, being stubborn about feeling better? It’s irritating when people try to give you solutions or advice, and all you really want to do it wallow in it.


This perplexes me, though.


Why do we toil with these stuck moments? Why do we sit and steep?


I was listening to Lee Harris the other day as I walked through Mt. Tabor, a forested park on an old volcano vent. It pops up in the middle of the city with beautiful city views from the top, through the trees. Why was I walking? Or listening? Because these are my tools and I needed them. Because continuing to wallow was getting too comfortable, and uncomfortable at the same time.


I have been feeling stressed and angry at everything. I feel like I’ve been pushing and working hard, and the finish line keeps being pushed ahead again and again. All I wanted to do is sit there, steaming, and feel the storm of my emotions.


I really wanted someone to come along and tell me exactly what was wrong and how to change it. And at the same time, I didn’t want to feel vulnerable or open up to anyone for help.


Three things here:


1)    We are curious creatures!

2)    Sometimes opening up allows the junk to flow out so love can flow in.

3)    Other times it’s our own voice that needs listening to – and our own remedies that we need.

4) And even though it sucks - wallowing can often allow us to get to know these part of ourselves wanting release.


This walk in the park was a forced attempt to listen to my own voice, follow my wisdom, and surrender to the magic of my tools.


Before I made myself get out the door and go for a walk with the trees I also used a technique in my Shaman bag. Its called a “dismemberment.”  I used my drum to journey into the Shamanic realm of consciousness – “the unseen world” – and my guides greeted me. They started the process of dismembering my emotions and my thoughts, and asked me to let go of all I was holding on to. My teacher, Karen Hefner, is always advising us to “dismember, dismember, dismember.”


This type of energy work surprises me. It’s so powerful, subtle, and so natural. These sessions can pull apart the most suck and knotted places in our hearts and situations in our lives.


My protocol : Energy Medicine session, the application of Geranium & Litsea[1]  on my heart, a 40 minute walk in the park, and the spiritual words of Lee Harris. These were my tools that helped dilute my 3-day steep in frustration, stress and anger.

What is in your medicine bag?

My mind is thinking more positively again, my body has more energy, and I feel less attached to all the uncontrollable aspects of life. I am sure my other tools are at play here too – it’s usually more than 3 things! But even if it is one thing to help pivot - after you have had a good taste - you will need these tools to pull yourself back out again.

Lets talk about how when things super suck they can also show us what our super powers are…

As Jaya Rose often reminds me, our sensitivities are our super powers. This is so true. I feel massive amounts of love and joy. I have grown the capacity to share this with others.


I also feel deep and fiery anger. At times, I will stomp and fret around the house, picking on everything. And I will also shout it from the mountain tops when things are turning out well and aligning. I can be easy to please and filled with immense gratitude as well as a dramatic control freak who is clearly disappointed. Thankfully, I am in constant use of my tools so that the later has less stage time.


But big irritations show us our want for big change, and that can mean big work is needed. I share with you the power of Shamanic modes of healing and plant medicine, Why? Because theses sessions allow things to shift and rearrange that give you a clear path to reach a deeper place to mend. These tools have the gift of new perspective and realigning to the true self. You may still be in the habit of thinking your tools are a luxury - or that healing sessions are for special occasions. This is not they way you want to be thinking or acting in these times. Life is intense as of late and the more consistant you use your tools, open up to help around you - the more life looks and feels good.


As we step into 2019 and into a decade of massive change – individual and world wide – Time is going to keep speeding up, which means manifestation will come quicker. We are noticing the ability to create, pivot, change and grow faster than ever.


Because of the ability for things to click into place easier, less steps to the goal are needed! And so I must remind myself and others, that living in daily habits of self care is crucial. Otherwise the tea gets bitter.


Ask Yourself What are you already doing well?


•   Daily high fives are needed!!!


What tools really make the difference for you?


•   Baths and essential oils

•   Vegetables or eating well

•   Yoga or exercise

•   Mediation or music


A brilliant coach, Sean Smith, gave me a statement to help me commit to my daily habits: “I value my (sanity, health, joy, wellness, happiness), so I am choosing to do (one of your daily self care tools) right now.”


Each time we say this to ourselves we reinforce and give the power of awareness to our choices and actions.


What do you already have to enjoy or celebrate?


•   Gratitude—it’s the quickest way to return to love.


So when you are done moping and holding tightly to your attachment of your current hangup – process what needs to be processed, listen to the voice inside, and decide what the next step is.


Outside council? An Energy Medicine session? A run through the woods? An Essential Oil combo? Only you know the answer to this.


Most of the time you or I want someone to come tell us what to do, its habit. But when you realize you have the answers you need, that is powerful - that is freedom. Many of you have a lot of different choices to choose from, even if its in how you respond. You can decide when you are finished and ready to move on.


Some people are so in the habit of being the “pissed victim” that they don’t remember what the empowered victor feels like. If this “steeping in the negative” has lasted a long time, it may take some time to even adjust to the idea that happiness is partially choice and perception, and get out of habitual thinking, reacting and “being”.


It can be hard to hear that most of life is a creation that comes from you. Its even harder when you see it and know it to be true. Know that even if your life has been a series of shit storms, there are always small actions that will lead to big results. You just have to be curious enough to try something, possibly uncomfortable, for that first step out of those stuck places.


In celebration of the New Moon on Thursday January 3rd, what are 3 tools you can pick up today and start to use them habitually?

Happy New Year,

Love Amber Jane

Each month I host a Ritual on the New Moon - follow the link for more info :

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Clear energies from the year past to truly enter this year with renewal :