One of my teachers told me, after telling her a story, a confession really.
“That’s good Karma.”
I looked at her eye brows squished together, inquisitively, because I had just told her a story of how, out of the blue, I got really really sick.
How did this happen was my question. I thought I would be met with compassion and hopeful for some coddling. Not so.
“What happened before you got sick?” She asked.
Really? How did she know?
I sheepishly told her of a dramatic interaction with a stewardess flying back home from Mexico.
Within 48 hours of this run in with an airline employee who did not like me and I did not like her, I got crazy sick, like really bad. Like I got to go to the doctor sick. And you know, by now, that I use all my oils, herbs, home health care, so this was not good. Some of you might have seen my post about Reiki symbols on my antibiotics and almost passing out from a kidney infection.
So how could it be good Karma?
What was this dramatic interaction? I won’t tell you the whole saga but what I will confess, and it is a confession, because I waited this long to share it with you because of the shame I felt by my behavior. See I have been in training and practice of energy medicine and Shamanic modalities for four years now. I help people heal, to feel reassured, whole and at peace. Last year I took a 2 day, workshop on Curse Unraveling. You learn a lot about the culture of curses and the many ways people put curses on each other. The types and how sick they are and how they can block all that Abundance work you have been doing! I have done a number of curse unraveling for others, so I have seen the damage they can do.
Well, guess what… Me, the Angel that I am, turned into a black witch! I got to see and act out this devilish side!
I was angry with this stewardess, I was pissed, I was livid.
As she flaunted her power over me and my family, ridiculing us and telling us we could not get on the plane with all our carry ons, I felt her fuel the fire of my angst. Things escalated like someone pour gas on a fire. She became even more ridged insisting that we pay $80 for checking a bag and may not let us on the plane at all. With each of her words and demands I transformed to beast. She was a #*&%! Oh did I had lots of names for her. It surprised me how she could blow on the hell flames inside of me.
I could not hold back my rather so I said to her face…
“I will curse you!” “I will curse you for this!”
And I meant it. I spent the next hour sitting on the plane hating her, sending all the hateful, hurtful, cursing energy I could possibly muster, to her. Looking back I am thankful she didn’t call the airport police on me. I thought to myself, I could do this, I could curse her. I know how powerful my prayers and blessings are, I could most certainly send the opposite. I visualized my distain surrounding her like a smoke cloud of my wrath of justice (okay maybe a bit dramatic), like an iron hammer, serving her her own venom. Yeah, I really got into it. I surprised myself!
In my fit of fury a small observation started to happen.
This could really hurt her. I know how this looks in the energy body when I do sessions on people who have curses on them. I have seen when a family line has a curse that is passed down. It keeps them in a poor and struggling hereditary cycles. I started worrying that she might actually have an accident and die.
In this moment I saw that my capacity to love in such big and passionate ways also meant I can hate with that same capacity. I saw how it is a choice you get to make. Truly! You may have been taught to view, treat or judge in some fashion, and you also have the ability to practice using those skills imbibed with the energy of love vs. hate. Unity vs. separation.
Love and Hate are at the ends of the spectrum… but there are lighter version of both.
curious vs. worry
open to learn vs. judgment
tolerance vs. irritant
a deep breath vs. a long sigh
What do you choose most often? Do you see the opportunity to pivot?
How can you practice pivoting the energy behind our mind? Our thoughts? Our actions?
I believe it is in being present. Pausing before responding so that you can reprogram your default settings.
On the plane, before take off, I realized I could hurt someone. I realized that I did not know her story, or the whole story for that matter. I just knew mine. Maybe this is why this experience presented itself? To understand this. Maybe it was to share this story with you all?
It took me some time and some wine to calm myself down.
And shame snuggled in.
I acted like that in front of my daughter.
I acted like that and I am supposed to be a trusted healer, a good gal.
48 hours later I found myself getting sick and sitting in front of my teacher who tells me I have good Karma.
Good Karma she explains is when you do something out of alignment with your higher self and “doing good”, that you will see consequences right away!
Its like your connection to the goodness within says, “No way, this is not who you are!”
Bad Karma, well, she tells me, it’s when you live a rotten life with no consequences. You receive less, struggle more and live in a life out of balance with others.
Good Karma brings you gifts, friends, guides and leads you to love.
Bad Karma is like being in a world of dog eat dog and shitty days.
After hearing more about Karma and how even some people on the planet are now stepping out of the Karmic Wheel, which I will blog about later! So much more to share.
My teacher asks me, “So you going to clean that up?”
Still sitting in front of her in embarrassment, but less shame, I say yes. I have been trained. I know how. I shall repair any damage and remove any curse I cast.
Spirit, life, this human experience, it teaches us so much. It sometimes reminds me of an elaborate game like Jumangi. You need endurance, to play to your strengths and have something to believe in for the end goal.
As I choose to give out love more often than not, as I choose to forgive myself and others, I align myself to the harmony to be found in these Universal laws that I am working with I walk with more faith that I will stay in “Good Karma”.
I am not sure what I would have done differently. It all happened too fast. Could I have walked away to take a breath? Could I have chosen to behave differently? I don’t know. What I do know is that :
I can ask the Universe for a better experiences by leading my days with intentions.
I can continue to practice slowing down before responding.
I can know that even if shit goes down I can center in my heart, choose tolerance and faith that the Universe is working on my behalf, that just maybe there is a new understanding brought to me by pain and chaos.
May you have graceful good Karma too!